Healthy Strategies for Managing Family-Fueled Anxiety

Few gatherings are perfect. But for the anxiety-prone, family gatherings can be filled with tension and stressors. Whether the family helped cause the anxiety or not, their presence throughout one’s formative years means they can sometimes trigger anxiety. For those feeling apprehensive about family get-togethers, here are a few tips courtesy of Dr. Charlie Chi for calming the nerves during a family party.

Pepper Conversations With Compliments

Some psychologists recommend setting the table for positivity by doling out genuine compliments to all your family members. Along those same lines, try to avoid sensitive topics that you know will get people’s blood boiling. If you find yourself at a loss for what to say or do during an awkward situation, offer to wash the dishes or to get anyone something from the refrigerator. Sending out positive vibes can reflect them back at you.

Have An Exit Plan

If you need a little more distance, volunteer to run any last-minute errands. Pick up extra ice, make a run to the drive thru for the kid who is too finicky to eat any of the party food, or offer to take the dog outside. During extended visits, you might want to make plans with people outside your family circle to see a movie, attend a concert, or even volunteer your time to a worthy cause. And, since getting out of the house isn’t always practical or possible, make sure you find ways to exercise and eat healthy where you’re staying to raise your mood and energy levels.

Keep Healthy

It’s important to stick to healthy habits as much as possible. For example, if you practice yoga, be sure to bring your mat along. Even a short session will help you manage some stress. It’s okay to eat party food, but know that the celery isn’t likely to make you feel jittery while corn syrupy caffeinated sodas and salty fatty snacks might.

Similarly, if you’ve stopped drinking alcohol and know it will be served at the family function, plan ahead to make sure you won’t be tempted. Kids and other adults who want to avoid alcohol or cut back on consumption will also enjoy having some fun non-alcoholic options on hand. For example, take a non-alcoholic pomegranate soda or sparkling cranberry punch.

You can even play non-alcoholic mixologist.You can join activities that don’t revolve around drinking, such as a strategic board game or a family-friendly movie that can also provide a welcome change of pace for those who were secretly dreading any alcohol-fueled soliloquies once after-dinner drinks start flowing.

Prepare For Pressure

If someone asks you why you aren’t drinking or tries to convince you a single glass of spiked cider can’t hurt, it pays to practice your responses. The National Institutes of Health’s Rethinking Drinking website suggests even settling on a script and acting it out with a supportive friend before attending an anxiety-inducing family gathering.

Making eye contact and starting with a simple, but firm “no” is a good first step. If that doesn’t work, consider a series of responses that end with the clear statement that you aren’t drinking. If you’re in recovery, but don’t want to share that information, you could end by explaining that you are trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle and would appreciate everyone’s support. 

For those prone to anxiety, facing a family gathering with realistic expectations and a plan that helps you stick to your goals will help calm nerves and keep the focus on the fact that they probably know you well enough to be rooting for you, and most everyone will be glad to see you.

Image via Unsplash

Blog Written By: Elena Stewart – a certified life coach specializing in career guidance to achieve your goals.